So I was thinking about how hilarious all the activities that are pretty commonplace here on Earth would be if performed in OUTER SPACE. The defining features of Outer Space are, of course, varying temperatures that will either freeze or melt your face off, romantic views, and a pervasive feeling of insignificance. Sounds a bit like Kentucky right? But the most important characteristic that really sets it apart is ZERO G, which stands for zero gravity or maybe 0*g where g is the value of the Earth's gravitational pull at a point on its surface (9.81 m/s^2). I want to note real quick that this term is sort of misleading since at any point in space (including right here!), every object in the universe is exerting gravity over you although most small and more distant objects create such low forces that their effect is impossible to detect or feel and also opposite and equal gravitational forces might cancel each other's effects but still exist; so not necessarily Zero gravity but close enough.
Anyway, drinking water in zerog is awesome. You know how drinking water on Earth can be fun sometimes like after a run or when you haven't had it in a couple days? But water on earth sucks because it hurts when it goes up your nose and too much of it kills you and its mainly just really heavy. In zerog water comes in the shape of gobstoppers that you can throw at your friend or flirtee pretty easily. Water doesn't go up your nose or kill you because you could easily push it away from you. Relatedly, water isn't heavy because weight is a measure of the effect of gravity on an object and in zerog there is no gravity and thus no weight!
This brings me to my next point: gettin' it on. Getting it on in space would be awesome. Even if you've gained a few pounds your assumed lover won't notice because of the aforementioned lack of weight. Zerog can also act as an excuse for your embarrassingly poor performance ("This is my first time...in space!" "I swear this has never happened to me before...in space!" "I love you so much...in space!" etc.). A certain amount of acrobatic skill might be helpful but if you are into S&M and the like everything should be ok. I'm not sure if anyone has done the deed in zero G yet but I imagine it will end up happening a lot because of all those romantic views I was talking about and the endless possibilities for flirting with zero g water.
Driving a car in space would not be fun because you wouldn't be able to move and you would still be polluting. Taking a bike for a 'spin' would be a blast however because you could do a bunch of tricks by changing your center of gravity. Bikes: 2 Cars: 0
Also I heard that some people who do drugs feel like they are in space. I don't know if doing drugs in space would be awesome because you might not even notice the difference.
Riding in a hot air balloon in space would be awesome just for the looks on people's faces.
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
15 January 2008
29 October 2007
And The Moon Be Still As Bright.
In response to Carrie's previous post:
I think the best solution to this problem of being utterly forgotten in the future is to freeze yourself for a few hundred years so that when you thaw back out you can be like, "Hey, remember when I just jumped out of that time capsule? That was awesome!" Hopefully others will agree but in any case it is doubtful they would have forgotten that you did that by the time you popped that question. Unless the world as we know it had been destroyed by a sudden violent uprising of goldfish. Hmmm, I guess it isn't a foolproof plan after all.
I also want to share a short passage from The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury:
"His name was Benjamin Driscoll, and he was thirty-one years old. And the thing he wanted was Mars grown green and tall with trees and foliage, producing air, more air, growing larger with each season; trees to cool the towns in the boiling summer, trees to hold back the winter winds. There were so many things a tree could do: add color, provide shade, drop fruit, or become a children's playground, a whole sky universe to to climb and hang from; an architecture of food and pleasure, that was a tree. But most of all the trees would distill an icy air for the lungs, and a gentle rustling for the ear when you lay nights in your snowy bed and were gentled to sleep by the sound."
Sound familiar? A hippy tree-hugger who is colonizing Mars!
I'm going to take this moment to reveal something that I feel all the she-man science-fiction haters out there don't seem to understand. Science Fiction is simply a method of looking outside your self by stepping into a world where all your unrelenting prejudices, assumptions, and preconceptions are rendered completely irrelevant and thus melt away like so much of your face near the sun's corona. From this vantage of such facelessness we are able to view with eyes so blinded by impossibility ourselves but now without the things we thought we could see getting in the way of how things are. And now, since the future is really just a fiction for us so far yet our predictions of it firmly rooted in extrapolations of what we seem to have experienced logically in the past that it can be deemed science fiction by nature and thus this post is applicable to this blog. SF isn't about making it with sexy aliens or blowing up insectoid mother ships or traveling into the past, it is about the fact that we want to make it with sexy yous and blow up mothers and win the lottery. I think I got that right, right?
Also, for all those who don't like to check all the time and be disappointed that no new posts have occured there is a nifty little feature at the very bottom of this page where you can "subscribe" to this blog and therefore be notified of updates through "Google Reader". This exciting old technology is called an RSS Feed and is available for many other sites and it's pretty convenient so checks.
I think the best solution to this problem of being utterly forgotten in the future is to freeze yourself for a few hundred years so that when you thaw back out you can be like, "Hey, remember when I just jumped out of that time capsule? That was awesome!" Hopefully others will agree but in any case it is doubtful they would have forgotten that you did that by the time you popped that question. Unless the world as we know it had been destroyed by a sudden violent uprising of goldfish. Hmmm, I guess it isn't a foolproof plan after all.
I also want to share a short passage from The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury:
"His name was Benjamin Driscoll, and he was thirty-one years old. And the thing he wanted was Mars grown green and tall with trees and foliage, producing air, more air, growing larger with each season; trees to cool the towns in the boiling summer, trees to hold back the winter winds. There were so many things a tree could do: add color, provide shade, drop fruit, or become a children's playground, a whole sky universe to to climb and hang from; an architecture of food and pleasure, that was a tree. But most of all the trees would distill an icy air for the lungs, and a gentle rustling for the ear when you lay nights in your snowy bed and were gentled to sleep by the sound."
Sound familiar? A hippy tree-hugger who is colonizing Mars!
I'm going to take this moment to reveal something that I feel all the she-man science-fiction haters out there don't seem to understand. Science Fiction is simply a method of looking outside your self by stepping into a world where all your unrelenting prejudices, assumptions, and preconceptions are rendered completely irrelevant and thus melt away like so much of your face near the sun's corona. From this vantage of such facelessness we are able to view with eyes so blinded by impossibility ourselves but now without the things we thought we could see getting in the way of how things are. And now, since the future is really just a fiction for us so far yet our predictions of it firmly rooted in extrapolations of what we seem to have experienced logically in the past that it can be deemed science fiction by nature and thus this post is applicable to this blog. SF isn't about making it with sexy aliens or blowing up insectoid mother ships or traveling into the past, it is about the fact that we want to make it with sexy yous and blow up mothers and win the lottery. I think I got that right, right?
Also, for all those who don't like to check all the time and be disappointed that no new posts have occured there is a nifty little feature at the very bottom of this page where you can "subscribe" to this blog and therefore be notified of updates through "Google Reader". This exciting old technology is called an RSS Feed and is available for many other sites and it's pretty convenient so checks.
04 October 2007
You're right, I'd probably go with the billion years of rampant hedonism too...
What would you do if you knew the world was going to end? Good question, me. Maybe we'd take up religious sincerity or some might do the opposite and give up trying to please a god that's gonna smite 'em all anyway. Others may commit themselves to debauchery of all kinds while others may seek to share their final moments with a soulmate. Some people might even wait until the last moment and then bake themselves in a giant pan of cornbread. Who knows, but what we almost always assume is that we won't see it coming until it's really too late, like due to asteroids or disease or thermonuclear war or if someone thinks it's a bright idea to make an island full of kevlar-skinned dinosaurs with lethal heat rays instead of puny forearms and "accidentally" release them upon the unsuspecting hordes of New York City. Whatever. The point is that it is very possible that in the future we could see that the world is gonna end, but it's going to happen in like, a billions of years.
You see, the Universe is currently expanding away from a central point where we assume the Big Bang had occurred. We've been doing this at the speed of light for approximately 13.7 billion years (+/- 200 Mill of course) and it is theorized that at a certain point this expansion will cease and the universe will reverse its course and begin to collapse in on itself at the same speed constant (which happens to be the current max).
You might be saying now that if the universe is collapsing at the speed of light then this light will never actually reach us until it's too late and we'll be in the same situation as the first paragraph. True, other guy, but don't you think we'll start to see the effects of a universal collapse from a much greater distance? Ha!
And so we'd be all like, "Poo! The universe is pulling a four(+?) dimensional accordion act all up in our personal space and its pretty certain that eventually we're screwed but hey I'll be dead, and my children's chillin's chill'n's ch'll'n's be just as so. So let's not worry about it and go on boldly ahead hoping that some solution presents itself at the proper time like in those cinematic fictions we like so much." Sound familiar?
Or maybe the population of Earth would be shocked into getting its shit together and devoting our entire resources to doing something, anything, against these malignant (we'll think) cosmic forces. I like this one better because it's less boring. In this scenario, humanity will probably be in war for a little while to determine which methodology is best for this current and excruciatingly unique dilemma. But then we would get all badass and the like real quick. Say we've got a billion years to first, figure out the nature or at least a working model of the universe, metaphysics, and the sort. Then we gotta determine what needs to be done to survive since obviously we won't last long sitting around on this olde rocke. After that we implement our solution and badabing, cross our collective fingers.
I hope there wouldn't be too much despair and depressing feet shuffling because what the fuck we're awesome and it's worth a shot. For example, some have even suggested a solution to this massive catastrophe even now, in our feebly under-evolved state! And that took just a few thousands years to fantasize about but think what could happen in a billion years.
One solution that some have suggested passes over completely the implementation of the technology required of course, cuz if we knew how to do it we'd do it already. So as the universe collapses and the actual physical dimensions of space decrease then by the law of conservation of energy, the density of matter and energy will increase to drastic proportions. We'd all be burned alive way before we even came close to seeing the edge of the universe, sorry. This is where it would affect stars much beyond the cusp of danger that we could hopefully see them and begin preparing. Anyway so at a certain point in time all the mass and energy in the universe will converge into one infinitesimal point. Actually, no one can contemplate how small because it will essentially be directly at the point of nonexistence. Up until this point the density of energy (which increases heat and such which is the excitement of particles) increases until infinity, which is called the Aleph or Omega point. The calculations sort of break down at that point seeing as we can't really come close comprehending a universe of 0 dimension.
SOoooo, at this point all we have to have done is determine a way to make computations using universal interactions on the particle level which will increase exponentially to infinity which might theoretically result in a sort of endless supply for our "computers" if you want to call them, to process information. After we figure that out we just upload our consciousnesses into these subatomic computers and voila! We essentially live forever as hot plasma computer brains. Easy money, let's do this Yaaaaah battle cry!
Hmmm, well hope you kept up with that. Pretty heavy junk I know and also like one of those plots that end really abruptly and make you wonder if the writer ran out of paper or something.
Anyway, someone tell me what they would do if they were going to die by fiery-death wielding t-rexes in a few weeks. I can tell you I wouldn't be worried about the tanning bed.
And if you are interested I can go through the scenario of survival if the universe isn't a closed system and it just expands forever. Comments Comets.
You see, the Universe is currently expanding away from a central point where we assume the Big Bang had occurred. We've been doing this at the speed of light for approximately 13.7 billion years (+/- 200 Mill of course) and it is theorized that at a certain point this expansion will cease and the universe will reverse its course and begin to collapse in on itself at the same speed constant (which happens to be the current max).
You might be saying now that if the universe is collapsing at the speed of light then this light will never actually reach us until it's too late and we'll be in the same situation as the first paragraph. True, other guy, but don't you think we'll start to see the effects of a universal collapse from a much greater distance? Ha!
And so we'd be all like, "Poo! The universe is pulling a four(+?) dimensional accordion act all up in our personal space and its pretty certain that eventually we're screwed but hey I'll be dead, and my children's chillin's chill'n's ch'll'n's be just as so. So let's not worry about it and go on boldly ahead hoping that some solution presents itself at the proper time like in those cinematic fictions we like so much." Sound familiar?
Or maybe the population of Earth would be shocked into getting its shit together and devoting our entire resources to doing something, anything, against these malignant (we'll think) cosmic forces. I like this one better because it's less boring. In this scenario, humanity will probably be in war for a little while to determine which methodology is best for this current and excruciatingly unique dilemma. But then we would get all badass and the like real quick. Say we've got a billion years to first, figure out the nature or at least a working model of the universe, metaphysics, and the sort. Then we gotta determine what needs to be done to survive since obviously we won't last long sitting around on this olde rocke. After that we implement our solution and badabing, cross our collective fingers.
I hope there wouldn't be too much despair and depressing feet shuffling because what the fuck we're awesome and it's worth a shot. For example, some have even suggested a solution to this massive catastrophe even now, in our feebly under-evolved state! And that took just a few thousands years to fantasize about but think what could happen in a billion years.
One solution that some have suggested passes over completely the implementation of the technology required of course, cuz if we knew how to do it we'd do it already. So as the universe collapses and the actual physical dimensions of space decrease then by the law of conservation of energy, the density of matter and energy will increase to drastic proportions. We'd all be burned alive way before we even came close to seeing the edge of the universe, sorry. This is where it would affect stars much beyond the cusp of danger that we could hopefully see them and begin preparing. Anyway so at a certain point in time all the mass and energy in the universe will converge into one infinitesimal point. Actually, no one can contemplate how small because it will essentially be directly at the point of nonexistence. Up until this point the density of energy (which increases heat and such which is the excitement of particles) increases until infinity, which is called the Aleph or Omega point. The calculations sort of break down at that point seeing as we can't really come close comprehending a universe of 0 dimension.
SOoooo, at this point all we have to have done is determine a way to make computations using universal interactions on the particle level which will increase exponentially to infinity which might theoretically result in a sort of endless supply for our "computers" if you want to call them, to process information. After we figure that out we just upload our consciousnesses into these subatomic computers and voila! We essentially live forever as hot plasma computer brains. Easy money, let's do this Yaaaaah battle cry!
Hmmm, well hope you kept up with that. Pretty heavy junk I know and also like one of those plots that end really abruptly and make you wonder if the writer ran out of paper or something.
Anyway, someone tell me what they would do if they were going to die by fiery-death wielding t-rexes in a few weeks. I can tell you I wouldn't be worried about the tanning bed.
And if you are interested I can go through the scenario of survival if the universe isn't a closed system and it just expands forever. Comments Comets.
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